


Unhealthy Obsession

by cyanidas



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Delusions, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Obsession, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Stalking, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, all in all this fic's gonna be one hell of a mess, anti's still a weird demon thing that can only possess people with a certain marking, but if i dont write it i will be sad :(, but only implied..., henrik is actually a competent doctor in this one btw, i hope i spelled that ship right lol, will tag more stuff later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-07-15 04:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16055264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanidas/pseuds/cyanidas
Summary: After the Halloween carving special is uploaded, Jack is taken to the hospital and falls into a coma, but Anti is the one who regains consciousness - under Dr. Schneeplestein's care. And you know what? He's perfectly alright staying right where he is... :)





	1. Chapter 1

_**Deep** ,_ he thought. **_Need to cut deep._**

He did just that - but surprisingly, the impostor's body fought back stronger than he assumed it would; its arms pushing against the waves of Anti's emotional current. Sure, the push grew weaker and weaker against the shove, but the resistance was enough. Anti could take over, and for a moment, the world paused in time to allow him to do so.   
When he was done, the camera shut off and its new batteries burnt out, and soon after that, the body collapsed onto the table that fateful Halloween.

Some of the body's coworkers stormed the room, quick to pick up on the puppet's lack of activity. They panicked, rushing to collect and move it for transport.

**_How very amusing - but repulsive. A fruitless endeavor, really._ **

Anti attempted to leave the body, but something held him back... and in that split second of hesitation, he was disconnected from the realm of technology. From _his_ realm.

So, Anti was stuck with this _dying thing,_ away from his electric stronghold and the very thing that keeps _himself_ alive.

**_Fucking hell, you cruel, cruel irony..._ **

He, too, found himself growing less and less attentive, and falling swiftly to the same drunken stupor brought on by rampant blood-loss and lack of oxygen.   
The lights blurred and dimmed, words and noises slurred together in an amalgamate horror...was he in a hospital?

Soon, Anti was surrounded by the body's thoughts. By Jack's thoughts.   
Words echoed abound the mind like whispers and whimsies of faeries deep inside of a cavernous forest. Most sentences were too jumbled or broken to understand in the mindspace, but there were a few which managed to stick out;

_"Oh, man...a hospital...who'd have thought...?"_   
_"am I dead...? how did i get here...?"_   
_"...did they say...'self...inflicted'...?"_   
_"I don't...understand....what happened..."_

Anti, though now thoroughly feeling the high of a near-death experience, internally grimaced at its voice. He just wanted it to _stop, already._

_"I don't want to die..."_

**_Oh, no...Please not this. Anything but a sob session..._ **

_"...I've been through so much.....how could I....just end it this way...?"_   
_"Please...please don't let me die..."_

Anti felt a small shock as a pang of guilt struck him. He didn't like that one bit.   
Why should _he feel guilt_ for attempting to murder the one who _stole his life?_ This _lowly puppet_ of his...he should feel **no mercy** for him-- _it! He means it!_ It's a _creature,_ not a person...a _thing_. **_A plaything. Nothing more._**

_"I can't breathe...am I really going to die...?"_

**_Please...stop...._ **

_"Where are the doctor's going...? Have they given up...?? Please! Please stay with me!"_

**_Stop this already..._ **

_"Come back...! Come back here!! I can't die-! I can't die like this...!!"_

**_The physical agony is already enough! Why do you insist on making yourself feel worse!? Just shut up!!_ **

_"Please...I want to see my sisters again...I want to see my friends....I'll miss them so much, I...I'd never get to say goodbye!"_

The torturous pain throbbed worse and worse with each lasting heartbeat.   
The senses swirled back, slowly but surely - and more pain along with it.

_"I don't want to die this way...! I can't die miserable and depressed...! Please, please, anyone listening, PLEASE!! I need to live...! I promise that if I make it through this, I...I'm calling my sisters...I'm calling all of my friends! I'll make plans again!"_

He could feel the tears burning, sharper than the pain in his throat, down his cheeks. He couldn't sob.   
Anti...he felt these emotions. He didn't want to.   
He...he wanted Jack to die...but... _god,_ he didn't know how to feel.

If he keeps staying with Jack in his mindscape...would _he_ soon perish, as well? Would he assimilate and lose sense of self, or would he take control...?   
The sense of dread and panic in the mind had him convinced that he did not want to stick around to find out. Unfortunately...he had to agree with Jack.   
There was no other way. They _both_ have to live.

_"I can't die this way!! I don't wanna be known this way!! I have people who care about me! I have people who depend on me...! They need me..."_

Suddenly, smooth gloved hands rubbed gently across his forehead, brushing hair out of the way of his eyes.   
A strange, pleading voice was heard...but it was familiar to him. To Jack, not Anti. **_Who could this be...?_**

"...me? Y....to be oka...." The voice urged, though muffled, "I'v....m going.........urse! Bri....! ...!"

There was a very soft beeping that could be heard. Anti correctly assumed it was the heart monitor. With the senses fading in and out, he couldn't tell how low or high the heartbeat was. There was a stinging poke in the neck wound, and soon after that, the body blacked out - bringing Anti down with it.

....

...

..

.

Some time later, Anti slowly came to, unaware of all physical and emotional pain. Was he numb? Or was he healed...? He couldn't tell.

He opened his eyes to the room before him - fancy and cozy, but way too small. He was hooked up to electrically-run equipment....that output a signal! Finally, he could escape...!

Suddenly, a man stood over him - a doctor. **_Lab coat says that much._** The man is very handsome; dark brown hair, soft blue eyes, really nice glasses...

The doctor exclaims to him in a breathy, hushed voice, "...! Thank god, you are _awake...!_ "   
His voice, apparently accented a little odd, was still gentle and filled with joy.   
"I was afraid I have lost you back there, but you are awake...! You are here, no? Yes? ...Can you let me know you are also... _aware_...?"

Anti furrowed his brow. He couldn't speak, but he twitched his hands towards this strange doctor - who surprised him by taking it and squeezing incredibly lightly.

The man wouldn't look away from his eyes.

" _Here!_ Yes, you are here! Hallo...! Thank god...thank god....well, thank _me_...! but..." He exhaled quietly, as if he had been holding onto his breath since Anti woke up, and lowered his head to the bar of the hospital bed. He settled for a second, before raising his head back up again, staring into his eyes once more.   
"I am...SO _happy...!_ that I was able to _save_ you..."

... _Happy_ to save _him?_ **_Happy to save the one everyone hates...?_**

"I, I...I thought I _lose_ you, my friend..."

**_...Friend??_ **

"But now you're _back!_ " He smiled, this time more somber than earlier, "And you going to recover. You are going to be _okay!_ "

The man cried tears. He _cried_ for him. _For_ him - for Anti...?   
_For Anti!_ Of all people, he's crying for _him!_

"You will be okay..." He sighed once more, "I know how you been though a lot... _too much,_ my friend...I know what you are going through. I can't help with that, but..."   
He paused, forehead pressed to his balled fist, choking on another sob.   
"But I have helped with this..." He nearly whispered, "I am... _so glad_ that this have worked... I will do all I can to make sure this happens _not again_. You have promise. I will _make sure_ you stay _safe..._ "

He looked back to Anti's eyes, with his own being puffy and red from holding back his sobs.   
"I don't want to see you this way. I don't want to _lose you_ again."

The way he looks, the way he's holding on to him, the way he's staring into his own gaze... Anti... _feels_ this emotion. He feels it, and he doesn't know what to _call_ it, but he doesn't reject it.   
Anti feels.... _compassion. Is that right?_ he wonders...

He _has_ been through a lot, himself...

He's been through being shunned and pushed outside of his own realm.   
He's been through mocking and teasing, and even being blatantly lied about by an impostor.   
He's been through the same, if not (in his observational opinion) WORSE hardships than Jack ever has.

_Did anyone ever care?_ Did anyone ever stop to consider he might not be exaggerating? Did anyone ever think that he might actually have witnessed horrors no human should ever encounter in their natural lifespan? That he might not be as _ill-justified_ as everyone assumed...?

**_Answer's no._ **

So what's making _this guy_ care? He _must_ know who he's talking to. **_Why else would he have said those things...?_ **  
If, by chance, he was deluded into thinking that this _wasn't_ Anti, and was just _Jack.._. then, well... he should know that Anti _is_ the REAL Jack...   
Everyone already knows that, don't they? Jack is the _fake_ one, Anti is the _real_ one. **_Of course they know that. Why wouldn't they? So why wouldn't this man?_**

...Okay. Even if he _does_ somehow mean _the puppet_ over Anti... _this_ is who he's talking to now. **_This is the real deal._**

For once, someone cares about Anti. Someone is crying for him, holding him close, speaking so genuinely...

He closes his weak, trembling hand around the doctor's. The doctor smiles, and lets out a faint, breathy chuckle.

**_How...very precious..._ ** He didn't want to let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone reading! Thank you for sticking with me so far, and I'm very sorry about the delay! That's what I get for having a million different project ideas between life happening, lol  
> I've gotten better at writing, I think, and imo the first chapter of this is a DISASTER. I'm hoping to re-write it soon. The events wont change, though, so you won't miss much : ] I hope you like this one! Let me know if you like it!

Every day started off about the same; the surgeon would come in with a nurse at about 5am, help him with his nourishment and occasional wound care, and be on his way. Sometimes, Anti would have the pleasure of hearing about his day, and the doc would share his kind and quaint little humorous remarks with him.

More often than not, more nurses would come in to assist him throughout the day, but he had no interest in _them._ That doctor cried _real tears_ for him, and true to his word, he would always visit one way or another. Though some days he was late or absent, Anti never stopped thinking about him.

The way he'd chuckle after his own joke to fill silence... The way he'd talk so softly to his nurses, and talk even softer to him... The tender grasp of his hand on Anti's.... and _his eyes..._ The look in his eyes, it was only _nearly_ too much too bear! Bursting with euphoria, with joy - _genuine joy_ \- at his patient's surviving light!

Anti would respond to him, in return. He'd do his best to look at him and let him know that, although he could not feel his face, he enjoyed the doctor's presence.  
  


**Henrik.**   
  


He learned his name. It was Henrik.

He couldn't ask him directly - it was only when his close personal assistant addressed the doctor, that he first learned his name.

"Henrik, sweetie...?" She would say, and then list off some task she needed from the surgeon, stealing him away from his dearest patient.

Rage would always boil inside him in response. How dare this mere  _harlot_ take away his only joy while residing here!? He'd stare daggers at her, unsure if the facial muscles were composing an accurate emotion.

Henrik would then quell this rage quickly, with reassuring words and a firm squeeze on his hand - which Anti thanked the fates, though cruel as they were, for allowing him the luxury of being able to at least feel _that._

Could the doctor hear his thoughts? How angry he was with this assistant, how betrayed he felt by her, and by his long-lost legions of fans - the _world,_ even? How could such a man - _one creature_ \- calm the storm raging within his heart in just one look and a few short words...?

There were times the doctor would leave, that Anti would try to follow by way of electric machinery, as he was so used to doing - but each time, he could feel the body losing its light. He knew that, outside of the body, there was no way he could ever see or talk to Henrik again...not like this, at least. Anti felt shackled to this fragile corporeal form - stolen and weakened - and he briefly wondered about the impostor's voice. He hadn't heard it speak in...about a week? _Christ, he's lost his touch with the concept of time..._

_  
Wait, Th-There's no way..._

_Could he...possibly have his own life back...?_

Henrik...he...really brought him back! Henrik was responsible for giving his body back to him! He gave him life - a form! _And, there was no way he was going to give it up so_ easily, _this time._

He had to thank him, somehow. Anti had to let him know how grateful he was, to be held on to so _emotionally,_ and graced with the gift of having his own body again, if not for the first time!

_Compassion..._ he said to himself that this emotion was 'compassion'. Now, he's... not so sure...

_Gratefulness? Loyalty...?_

_Those weren't right, either..._ He'd need to think harder, but not now - the doctor was on his way, again.

  
**_5am. On time, today._ **

  
Unfortunately, the pleasantries had to be skipped; Henrik rushed in, clamoring to prepare something that Anti was not too familiar with, but he's seen enough times to recognize the items were for the routine wound-checkup.

The doctor must have apologized in at least three languages before remembering his English;

"Sorry, I am so sorry! I can _not_ be with you today, it is...something important has...! _It-It is Robbie...!"_   The table was set up with the supplies stacked on top.

**_  
Robbie? Who the fuck is Robbie?_ **

  
Breathlessly, Henrik left as quickly as he came, and a storm of assistants followed his suit. Whoever this Robbie guy was, Anti hopes he _dies_ for causing Henrik grief and for-

No... no, he _knew_ that look in his eyes. _This guy must matter to him._

If that little shit died, Henrik would be sadder, and he might not come over as often... or he might only want to talk about this guy Anti had no god damn interest in hearing about. Whoever that fuck was would steal the rare gift that was Henrik's attention, and he did _not_ want to stop hearing the good doctor talk so lovingly and passionately about himself and their newly established friendship.

_Fine, then.  
_

Though begrudgingly, he forced himself to try and think about something else, but that's when _she_ stepped in - Henrik's assistant - greeting him with a "hi, hun."

Again, he glared daggers into her, merely wishing that they were actual ones, unable to fulfill his own desires. She barely spoke to him, only the bare minimum - not that he could answer, and not that he would care.

He briefly wondered what Henrik would think, with how little she cared for his patient in comparison, and how she pissed Anti off to no end. He entertained the thought of him treating her with very little regard, perhaps even with disdain - commanding her like the subordinate little nurse she _should_ be, rather than as an empathetic equal. In his eyes, she was truthfully below him - below his dear doctor - and only served to get in his way of this new, vital emotional connection.

The brief fantasy made him feverishly grin to himself.  
  


"There you go, Jack."

**_...What?_ **

"You're all set for the day."

_**No... why did you say that name?** _

Why did you call him Jack? He's _not_ Jack, right?

He...he has **his own body,** now... he _was_ Jack, but certainly... not anymore, right? Or is that his name, now? _...again? Would it be again?_

Anti - he feels a disgusting sense of grime in his heart, as if greasy sand had been poured into the cracks of his mind, grinding his thoughts to a disgusting halt.

_She_ made him feel this way. The doctor would never have done this! **This is _HER_ FAULT!**

He felt his aggression boiling up through him once more! _How **dare** she call him by **that name!**_

  
This new hatred had no cure in sight - no sweet voice, no tender grasp, no kind words...

  
He grabbed her hand as she turned to leave, the wires on his fingertips colliding with her wrist.

"Jack...?"

Anti looked up at her, and she looked down to him - and she did not see Jack.

No...she saw _him_.

She saw _Anti,_ glaring with spiteful, murderous intent. She lost herself in his eyes; his voided, black, abysmal eyes!

She felt her veins crawl like computerized matrices failing to signal a full stop. She felt _judged,_ as if not by a god, but by Satan himself; dragging her by the wrist into the Hell that was _his gaze_ \- and _he_ could see _her,_ too.

He could see her desires, her dark secrets, and her very means for being. She...she was Henrik's wife. They had children.

_But..._ he chuckled to himself, wringing chills out into her core... _she wasn't in love with him. Not anymore._

Physically, she was still and silent as a board in this exchange lasting for a few real-time seconds, but internally... she'd been knocked down to her knees, purged under the weight of her own urges and her own impulsive thoughts and actions, all from the past, the present, and her infinite possible futures.  
  
  


**LEAVE HIM.**

The words echoed into her - they resonated _with_ _her..._

**LEAVE HIM!**

She had no choice but to listen!

**L E A V E  H I M**

 

  
  
Anti blinked at half-pace, releasing the pressure of himself from her soul, and she gasped for air with terrified, pleading eyes, but her body wouldn't move a centimeter.

She suddenly stopped her panic, and resumed her actions as if nothing had happened; she gently plucked her arm away from Anti's grasp, made a few notes on his chart, and walked out of the room.  
  


Maybe once this whole business with Robbie was over, he could finally get to see his Henrik even more, now...

He grinned, again, feeling a new kind of sickness wash over him.

**_  
Ah... won't that be nice...?_ **


End file.
